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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Doormat disclaimer

I have a lot of junk on my beer fridge. I forget some of it is even there. Last weekend I happened to notice this warning label that came with a door mat I bought a long time ago. I'm glad I incorporated MatStop technology into the one I made!

Important things you should know about your new doormat

Warning: Do not use this mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately take cover and shelter head. Caution: If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to me used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be keep out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the makers of this doormat, Simply Precious D├ęcor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all liability.


  1. I had to do it. I enlarged the photo to see for myself, and that's really what it says. I figured your usual hilarious self was making a joke, but that's really what it says. That is too funny.

  2. "Do not taunt mat." LOL, cool reference!